Saturday, January 19, 2008

So, is that a GAS fireplace?

After an enjoyable day spent galavanting around town doing a bit of shopping, my mom and I decided to stop and have lunch at a decidedly artery-clogging but oh-so-delightful greasy food diner.

Later, we came home and chose to catch up on a few DVDs while basking in the glow of a fire.

As Mom was bent over adding another log to the fire, the culmination of a basket of onion rings, cole slaw, and a big old greasy burger finally caught up with her. Those nasty little gas bubbles gurgling in her tummy decided to make a hasty, not to mention rather loud, escape from the nearest exit possible.

I don't know which was louder...the sound of her flatulence or the sound of her cackling with laughter.

You know how people used to light a match to try to offset the odiferous remnants of their noxious rectal gaseous outbursts? Hell, we didn't need a match, we needed the whole fire!


  1. Hah! Good one. Bodily functions are funny, aren't they? I laugh about 'em all the time. Ken used to get so pissed at me, which made me laugh even harder.

  2. And have you ever laughed so hard ABOUT a fart that it actually MADE you fart?! I'm guilty!!

  3. No, never did that, BUT! I HAVE burped, farted and sneezed at the same time. Not on purpose, either. I was friggen embarrassed.