Sunday, February 15, 2009

Stupid Cupid! Quit Ignoring Me!

It's Valentine's Day, blah, blah, blah.

Since the cute little diaper-wearing, arrow-shooting midget apparently can't see the bullseye I painted on my tush, it's yet another year where I spend my day at my desk rather than in the arms of some cutie.

My daughters have been a tad more fortunate in love.

Beth drove to Bolivar so she could (ahem) "watch the sunset" with Captain Hormone. Yeah, I know. When you go to the Bolivar Dam to "watch the sunset," the chances are that you'll miss the heavenly splendor of the sky because the car windows are gonna be too fogged up with teenage hormones to be able to see anything.

Later, he made reservations to eat at Georgio's Grille. Since their dates usually consist of him coming to our house and sitting on the couch watching movies every Saturday, this date was a pretty big thing and Beth was just ecstatic. Unfortunately, she didn't think to hand her camera to anyone so I could have a picture of the two lovebirds together.

I got a text message from her shortly after she finished eating and said she had the steak and salad and they shared crabcakes as an appetizer. In her words, it was "foodgasmic!"

To which I replied "Yay!! If you had a foodgasm, that meant that there was no need for a real orgasm. That makes Mom a very happy camper!" Still...I counted the condoms to see if any were missing. He IS an 18-year-old horndog, after all.

Heather also got to spend some time with her boyfriend. I drove her to Canton so she could meet up with him at Borders Bookstore.

Yes, that is a kilt. If you knew Paul, you'd never be shocked. It's just him.

They went to see the movie Coraline in 3D. It totally messed with Heather's head...which is her way of saying it totally rocked. Dinner was McDonald's, which was exactly what Heather wanted. She wore a formal dress. No, I'm not kidding. Yes, she knew she was going to fast food. THAT's why she wanted to wear a formal gown. Only normal people wear jeans and a t-shirt to Mickey-D's. She's far from normal.

The date finished with a few ankle-thrashing hours spent at an indoor ice skating rink.

Oh, and in case you are wondering the answer to the question that goes through everyone's minds when seeing a guy in a kilt...

Nice girls ask.

Naughty girls find out for themselves.


  1. Yes, I did have a wonderful time. It was exactly what I wanted to do. And I want to put special thanks to Mr. D, my math teacher. Since he lives in Canton, I asked him where the place was and how much it cost.

  2. Pfft. Who says I would use your condoms..they're so gay. ;)

  3. Heather - I'm glad you had a blast.

    Corey - True!!! Especially since I got them handed to me by a drag queen at the Gay Pride Parade. Speaking of which, Beth's dragging you to the next one in June. Bring your studded belt so you blend in. :)

  4. Best danged lines of the post:

    "Yay!! If you had a foodgasm, that meant that there was no need for a real orgasm. That makes Mom a very happy camper!"

    Too. Friggen. HILARIOUS!!!!

    And, um, why do have condoms? (Do I really want to know, lol?)

    I like Corey's kilt. Not the sneakers and the slouchy socks so much, though. Still, it takes a certain brand of confidence to pull off this kind of thing--to be who you are with no reservations, no apologies. He's got moxie. (Well, he'd need a heavy does of something to keep up with Heather, no?)

    I did not celebrate Valentine's Day this year. I celebrated Singles Awareness Day, thankyouverramuch.

  5. The kilt-wearer is Paul. I'm Corey.

  6. Here, Unhinged, lemme set you straight... Corey (King Condoms) + Beth, and Paul (Captain Kilt) + Heather. :D We still love you! And, we'll forgive you... this time. :P

  7. Wow, you blog less than me, lol. Actually I mostly just stick in a few pics now and then. Need to find my inspiration again to write, but thinking maybe it's gone for awhile....

    Well, stopped by to say "hi", your posts always make me smile. Glad all is well.

  8. I cannot BELIEVE you haven't blogged since February, you slacker.