You know you're in trouble when you walk out of the doctor's office actually wishing that the diagnosis was strep throat.
Unfortunately, after a grotesquely enlarged Q-tip was swabbed halfway down my daughter's throat, followed by another one up her left nostril, it was determined that she does not have strep throat.
The diagnosis - mono.
In a month where she has a week of her high school's panic-inducing standardized tests, followed by a grade-busting AP History exam, and concluding with taking the ACT college entrance exam, now poor Beth has a debilitating virus that has turned my vibrant, hard-working teenager into a halitosis-festering lump of sweaty flesh.
The worst part is that there is apparently no treatment for mono (whereas if the diagnosis had been strep throat, a prescription of antibiotics would have had her back to normal (as evidenced by her fingers being glued to the keyboard and her ears eternally plugged by headphones) within a day or two. But since Mono is a virus, all we can do is wait it out for weeks or even months.