Friday, October 3, 2008

From "Handkerchief" to "Tissues"

Homecoming - the epitome of every high school girl's dreams.

The big homecoming dance was last weekend. The biggest fear, of course, is that you won't be asked to the dance and you'll either have to go stag, or worse, not go at all. Fortunately, Beth and Heather have been dating their respective boyfriends for the past year. So, the issue of "Will I get a date?" was never a concern. That meant that Homecoming was gonna go off without a hitch.

Beth eagerly showed Corey her sparkly blue homecoming dress. He liked it, but he made the comment that "you might get in trouble for wearing it." Why? Because it had a bare back. After seeing the skimpy dresses that the other girls have worn, trust me, it wasn't going to be a problem. Corey wasn't convinced.

And once you put a fear in Beth's head, she obsesses. Compulsively. (Get it? An OCD pun!). She fretted about this dress for a week. Finally, she decided to get her friend's opinion. Sam liked the dress, but decided to offer Beth the dress that she had worn to homecoming last year. After their youth group activities on Friday, Beth and Sam came over and Beth showed me Sam's dress.

Beth looked like Cinderella. It was a baby blue satiny material with a "handkerchief hem." When she called her other friend, Elizabeth, to tell her about it, her mom offered her the use of some silver shoes that would just be perfect. Then, I remembered I have a tanzanite ring which I bought on my cruise that was just the perfect color to match the dress. Finally, we got out a blue aquamarine necklace that has been "Beth's favorite" bauble in my jewelry box since she was a little kid. Beth actually had tears in her eyes as she said, "This is like so perfect. It's like it was just meant to be. Everything has worked out exactly right. It's like fate intervened and made everything just the way it was supposed to be. I'm so happy!"

We took a picture with Beth's cell phone and sent it to Corey so he could see her new dress.

The next day was moderately chaotic as tends to happen with teenage girls, as they got ready for the dance.

All of a sudden, Beth slammed shut her cell phone and burst into tears.

It turns out that Corey finally saw the picture and texted her the message, "Why not wear the dress you wore last year? I think this new dress is kinda ugly."

What moron would possibly say something like that to the love of his life?

When Beth texted back that she was really upset about what he had said, Corey texted back "what the fuck ever." Yeah. He did. Ain't he just the sweetest?

That's when the tears started to gush. She was crushed. She was hurt. She was devastated.

And I was pissed.

She sat at the computer desk for two hours bawling her eyes out. See that mess of tissues up there? That's what was left AFTER she filled up the trash can with tissues.

A couple of hours (and the better part of a box of Kleenex) later, Beth was still undecided as to whether to even go. Thanks to Corey's apparent inability to act human, her night was ruined. It would no longer be this dream of showing up at her high school looking like a princess and having all of her former classmates ogle and stare and wonder why they hadn't noticed her before.

Finally, she decided she would still go to the dance.

Since I had to take Heather up to her boyfriend's house an hour away, I left Beth in my mom's capable hands in order to transform my little tomboy into Cinderella. Her hair was curled. Her fingers were jeweled. And her dress was shimmering. She looked awesome. She couldn't wait until Corey would walk through the door so he could see how nice she looked.

As soon as he entered the houe, Beth said, "See??"

He responded, "well, it's not as ugly as in the cell phone picture."

Yeah. He really said that.

So, she might have been Cinderella, but that boy is no Prince Charming, that's for sure.


  1. Hmmmm.

    My first thought after reading the comment about the low-back dress?

    That he was jealous--he didn't want Beth to look too good.

    And that maybe Beth wasn't so sure of the way she looked in the dress, either, otherwise she probably would have told him to deal with it. God knows, there wasn't anything distaste about it.

    The fact that she decided to accommodate him and he still wasn't happy? Girly Lesson 101: Dress For Thyself. Once the girl is happy with how she looks, the boy will be squishy clay in her fingers.

    Just as he should be.

    Hey, what'd Heather wear (or dare I ask)?

  2. Heather's homecoming entry comes tonight (I've already written it-aren't you proud of me??)

    I totally agree about the "dress for thyself" thing. But Beth was very confident in it UNTIL he put the itch in her brain. That's just Beth. She worries about everything.

    She ALMOST wore the same black homecoming dress from last year because that is what Corey told her to wear. Boy am I glad she did what she wanted instead.

  3. Hey, homecoming was fun, a lot of my friends were there and it was all ok. :D

  4. Well, I never went to Homecoming. Or to prom. I was asked (once, but by a boy my sister liked, so I said no). And I was almost asked, too, but the boy was more shy than I was.

    I'm sure this is the reason for my discontent.

    Anyway...I'm looking forward to Heather's recap. Write it well, DiAnne.

    Er, wait. Why don't Beth and Heather write their own entries about the Homecoming dance, dang it?

    (hint, hint)